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This one originally posted elsewhere by Tomas1:
C, E-flat and G entered a bar.

The bartender said, “Sorry, I don’t serve minors”.

The E-flat left and the C and G had an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth was diminished and the G was out flat.

An F entered and tried to augment the situation but was not sharp enough.

A D entered and excused himself to the bathroom, saying “I’ll be just a second”.

An A entered but the bartender wasn’t convinced that this relative of C was not a minor.

Then the bartender noticed a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar. “Get out right now’ he yelled “you’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight”.

The next night the E-flat returned to the bar in a 3 piece suit. The bartender said “You’re looking sharp tonight. This could be a major development”.

This was the case, when the E-flat took off the suit and stood there au natural.

Eventually the C sobered up and realized he was under a rest.

He was brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and was sentenced to ten years of D.S. without the the possibility of a coda.

On appeal, he was found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, because the accusation was bassless.

The bartender decided he needed a rest—and closed the bar

Thank you Stefano for making a home for humor.

Yogi Berra Explains Jazz

Interviewer: What do you expect is in store for the future of jazz trumpet?

Yogi: I’m thinkin’ there’ll be a group of guys who’ve never met talkin’ about it all the time…

Interviewer: Can you explain jazz?

Yogi: I can’t, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, its right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it’s wrong.

Interviewer: I don’t understand.

Yogi: Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can’t understand it. It’s too complicated. That’s whats so simple about it.

Interviewer: Do you understand it?

Yogi: No. That’s why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldnt know anything about it.

Interviewer: Are there any great jazz players alive today?

Yogi: No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it.

Interviewer: What is syncopation?

Yogi: That’s when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don’t hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they’re the same as something different from those other kinds.

Interviewer: Now I really don’t understand.

Yogi: I haven’t taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well.

Interviewer: And what do you think of the Jazz Joint down on main street?

Yogi: That old place? Nobody goes there anymore… it’s too crowded.